Fuck Going To That Party
I have to say, dear reader, most social interactions involving a group of heretofore strangers are beginnning to wear on your favourite sleepless bon vivant-turned-socialite-turned-hermit-turned-wannabe bohemian-turned genteel debauchee-turned author.
Why? Well, every conversation seems to begin with an interrogation to determine just what *kind* of person you are. The first question, after some stupid joke over the punch bowl or someone's strange looking shirt is: "so what do you do?"
"I'm an consultant. I'm a lawyer. I'm a teacher. I'm in contstruction. I bite chicken heads off and then glue them to fabric as part a pomo commentary on the state of the environment, and sell my work on ebay."
Whatever you say now shapes who you are; what you are - you become judged. It shows, perhaps, how much money you earn (or don't), the circles you travel in (or don't) all according to well-established social stereotypes: 1. Lawyers snort coke and lie for a living, 2. Teachers are lazy and take summers off, 3. Construction workers are less intelligent and sweat a lot.
But, of course: the construction worker could have a PhD (God, I sound like Amanda Marshall) , not all lawyers snort coke and lie, and Teachers work pretty hard most of the time. Not to say that the laywer might not inhale blow like it was going out of style (maybe he bought it off one of the highschool teacher's students?), but we just don't know, and it shouldn't shape who the person is, and what the person has to say, in the first one minute of the conversation.
I think there should be a rule that no one should be allowed to say what they do.
Stick to the tried, tested and true inane conversations about news, weather and sports. Let's not bother even trying to get to know each other, because, over the punchbowl in a five-minute conversation, honestly - how much knowing can you do?
Why? Well, every conversation seems to begin with an interrogation to determine just what *kind* of person you are. The first question, after some stupid joke over the punch bowl or someone's strange looking shirt is: "so what do you do?"
"I'm an consultant. I'm a lawyer. I'm a teacher. I'm in contstruction. I bite chicken heads off and then glue them to fabric as part a pomo commentary on the state of the environment, and sell my work on ebay."
Whatever you say now shapes who you are; what you are - you become judged. It shows, perhaps, how much money you earn (or don't), the circles you travel in (or don't) all according to well-established social stereotypes: 1. Lawyers snort coke and lie for a living, 2. Teachers are lazy and take summers off, 3. Construction workers are less intelligent and sweat a lot.
But, of course: the construction worker could have a PhD (God, I sound like Amanda Marshall) , not all lawyers snort coke and lie, and Teachers work pretty hard most of the time. Not to say that the laywer might not inhale blow like it was going out of style (maybe he bought it off one of the highschool teacher's students?), but we just don't know, and it shouldn't shape who the person is, and what the person has to say, in the first one minute of the conversation.
I think there should be a rule that no one should be allowed to say what they do.
Stick to the tried, tested and true inane conversations about news, weather and sports. Let's not bother even trying to get to know each other, because, over the punchbowl in a five-minute conversation, honestly - how much knowing can you do?
6 Comments:
People who treat people on the basis of first impression, are either very intuitive or plain rude. Assumptions are bad. I always burst out laughing when I overhear people asking other people "what they do?" but on the otherhand, talking about the weather is not much better because how deep can you really get? We could just cut out the verbal component and jump straight to showing the weather updates that are coming in from our mobiles (sorry 'cells'). If it's not based on what you do, it's based on what you look like. (In fact even to some extent based upon what phone/cell you have).
But actually all that crap aside, I think that when you are "that party", as long as who you are talking to is passionate and enthusiastic about where(ever) they are and what(ever) they are doing, then the words don't really matter. Life is about shared experience.
fuck the danes again,
pdiddy
let's go to a party together this weekend...you know we're a good team...why won't you return my phonecalls, emails or answer the door!
see you at the party tonight hotstuff
But it's impossible to know someone completely no matter how much time you spend with them, much less over 5 minutes at the punchbowl. Stereotypes and self-identification are necessary to inform us how to relate to others, and as long as we make allowances that our stereotypes might be wrong, they can be good things.
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