Swimming Is A Sinking Ship
Was speaking yesterday to my dear friend Barry Katz, who happens to be a huge swimming fan. Well, he was, until we both made some startling conclusions. The sport of swimming is a queer one, indeed: At the Olympics there is a such a medley of strokes available to compete in I can't even remember them all--freestyle (front crawl), the backstroke, the breast stroke, the butterfly, elbow stroke, the pinky toemover, the groundhog---am I missing any?
How come the default stroke for all events isn't just the front crawl--it's the fastest and most efficient stroke! What kind of whackjob de-evolved sport is this? Think about this for a comparison: highjump. It's not like there are three different categories for competitors--you don't have the option of the Scissor Kick or Western Roll if you don't feel like using the tried, tested and true Fosbury Flop. Sure, you could use the first two methods against the Fosbury floppers--but you'll lose.
Obviously front crawl is fastest. A stone age man probably figured that out, so who invented these inferior strokes? The real kicker is that it's the same people who do well at the different strokes(remember the American who won seven golds?); I mean if you're going to have special strokes, shouldn't specialists win those events? In track and field, you don't see the same guys winning the 200-metres as well as the 800-metres or the hurdles...
Are we the only ones that see this ridiculous aspect of swimming?
Speaking of swimming, doesn't it just kill you when you watch the 50-metre freestyle, the fastest race--the "splash and dash"--with the fastest Olympic swimmers charging like mad in a supersonic race against the clock--and there's a couple of judges walking a leisurely pace next to the pool, going the same speed as the swimmers?
How come the default stroke for all events isn't just the front crawl--it's the fastest and most efficient stroke! What kind of whackjob de-evolved sport is this? Think about this for a comparison: highjump. It's not like there are three different categories for competitors--you don't have the option of the Scissor Kick or Western Roll if you don't feel like using the tried, tested and true Fosbury Flop. Sure, you could use the first two methods against the Fosbury floppers--but you'll lose.
Obviously front crawl is fastest. A stone age man probably figured that out, so who invented these inferior strokes? The real kicker is that it's the same people who do well at the different strokes(remember the American who won seven golds?); I mean if you're going to have special strokes, shouldn't specialists win those events? In track and field, you don't see the same guys winning the 200-metres as well as the 800-metres or the hurdles...
Are we the only ones that see this ridiculous aspect of swimming?
Speaking of swimming, doesn't it just kill you when you watch the 50-metre freestyle, the fastest race--the "splash and dash"--with the fastest Olympic swimmers charging like mad in a supersonic race against the clock--and there's a couple of judges walking a leisurely pace next to the pool, going the same speed as the swimmers?
4 Comments:
By far the best rant so far. Unbelievably funny. A real gem. Two thumbs up.
Andrew Pinfold
I can see how you are trying to be funny, but you are obviously just uneducated on the sport. If it is a sinking ship, why has the sport been around forever? Why is it one of the most popular sports (if not the most popular) at the Olympics? Ever tried it??
Dave
Hi Dave,
Actually I swam competitively all through high school. I don't think anything's wrong with swimming; rather it just seems odd that there are so many strokes---almost ridiculous, sometimes. I'd say everyone should just do free in all distances.
Matt
Why even swim? Why not just hook up a propellar to your ass then that would be even faster? How about rowing? Why do single scull, when double sculling is faster?
Sometimes it's not always about being the fastest. The techniques are different, it takes skill to develop the technique, and I enjoy watching some of the different techniques. I get your point, but I kinda like watching the butterfly and failing miserably at my attempts at doing it.
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