I Learned Everything I Know From The Telescreen
Where was I when Hollywood decided to become our moral advisors? Was there a meeting on this?
When I sit down to turn my brain off and watch twenty-two minutes of inane set-up lines and punch lines, I don't wanna learn nothin' about nobody. I want to laugh, eat my TV dinner in peace, and drown out my sorrows with an unoriginal cast of archetypes and some unoriginal jokes. That's what I want, so why can't I get it?
I don't get why cokehead writers in L.A. need to instill some kind of lifelesson thanks to Frasier Crane, Chandler Bing, or Danny Tanner? (Remember Full House? And we are vomitting in 3....2....1) How can, in fact, there be a lesson that makes any sense when it is surrounded by ridiculous, nonsensical situations? Imagine three single guys taking care of a bunch of teenage girls, a bunch of Friends that don't just say "ah hell, we've all pretty much been with each other by now, let's just have an orgy", or a bloody English nurse that can't see her bosses brother is desperately obsessed with her? (Jesus, were you daft, Daphne?)
There's nothing "real" about a sitcom, and that's why we watch it. It's a little utopia with clean beginnings and clean endings. Where everything works out in the end, where relationships work (and if they don't, somehow there's always one waiting in the wings), where everyone has a good job and nice house, where everyone is attractive, and more importantly, everyone always knows just what to say next. So why do they have to crush the bubble and teach me? Just give me the schlock, show me some beautiful people, and keep me living in this world of make-believe until the next set of commericals.
When I sit down to turn my brain off and watch twenty-two minutes of inane set-up lines and punch lines, I don't wanna learn nothin' about nobody. I want to laugh, eat my TV dinner in peace, and drown out my sorrows with an unoriginal cast of archetypes and some unoriginal jokes. That's what I want, so why can't I get it?
I don't get why cokehead writers in L.A. need to instill some kind of lifelesson thanks to Frasier Crane, Chandler Bing, or Danny Tanner? (Remember Full House? And we are vomitting in 3....2....1) How can, in fact, there be a lesson that makes any sense when it is surrounded by ridiculous, nonsensical situations? Imagine three single guys taking care of a bunch of teenage girls, a bunch of Friends that don't just say "ah hell, we've all pretty much been with each other by now, let's just have an orgy", or a bloody English nurse that can't see her bosses brother is desperately obsessed with her? (Jesus, were you daft, Daphne?)
There's nothing "real" about a sitcom, and that's why we watch it. It's a little utopia with clean beginnings and clean endings. Where everything works out in the end, where relationships work (and if they don't, somehow there's always one waiting in the wings), where everyone has a good job and nice house, where everyone is attractive, and more importantly, everyone always knows just what to say next. So why do they have to crush the bubble and teach me? Just give me the schlock, show me some beautiful people, and keep me living in this world of make-believe until the next set of commericals.
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