Grow Some Balls, Stand Up
Ah, the washroom. A refuge for full bladders of men all ages, races and creeds. A place to get away from it all, relax, clean up, and meditate. The Fonz even used to hold business meetings there. Men can talk about whatsoever they wish (and in some select bathrooms, do whatever they wish) and there is no one to judge; the only sound we hear are collective sighs of relief or the gentle buzz of the hand-dryer, highlighted by an occasional grunt and a flush of the toilet.
The washroom. Men can be men. We don't judge each other in there. There's a row of toilets, some sinks, and, for our sex only: a row of urinals. For those not in the know, these handy devices are used by men when we need to do a number 1, but not a number 2. Just pull up, zip down, badaboom badabing - and you're done. This is why the pee-break ratio at a club is often 3 men in the time of one woman. It's express-piss, and what makes us guys, well, guys.
SO WHY THE HELL DO SOME OF YOU MOMMA'S BOYS INSIST ON PISSING IN THE TOILET!
Honestly, nothing disturbs the serenity of a quiet and relaxing urination more than that noisy splatter of some dufus who can't pee in a urinal. What's the problem? Are you worried someone's gonna take a peek? Afraid of sharing the space with one of your fellow brothers? Honestly. Not only is it fucking annoying and loud, but most guys don't even put the freakin' seat up, which means when the time comes for one of us guys to do a number 2 -- well yeah, you guessed it -- there's a little pee surprise waiting on the seat.
To these infidels I say: be a man, embrace your manhood and stand up. It's what makes us "us" and if you can't join the club, well, we just don't want you.
The washroom. Men can be men. We don't judge each other in there. There's a row of toilets, some sinks, and, for our sex only: a row of urinals. For those not in the know, these handy devices are used by men when we need to do a number 1, but not a number 2. Just pull up, zip down, badaboom badabing - and you're done. This is why the pee-break ratio at a club is often 3 men in the time of one woman. It's express-piss, and what makes us guys, well, guys.
SO WHY THE HELL DO SOME OF YOU MOMMA'S BOYS INSIST ON PISSING IN THE TOILET!
Honestly, nothing disturbs the serenity of a quiet and relaxing urination more than that noisy splatter of some dufus who can't pee in a urinal. What's the problem? Are you worried someone's gonna take a peek? Afraid of sharing the space with one of your fellow brothers? Honestly. Not only is it fucking annoying and loud, but most guys don't even put the freakin' seat up, which means when the time comes for one of us guys to do a number 2 -- well yeah, you guessed it -- there's a little pee surprise waiting on the seat.
To these infidels I say: be a man, embrace your manhood and stand up. It's what makes us "us" and if you can't join the club, well, we just don't want you.
4 Comments:
That was quite possibly one of the funniest things i have ever read!!!!
Harv
Can you comment on all the comments? My first time to this funny site. You can learn a lot about a person from their rants - I like that...
I think that one of the main reasons some men use the toilet for urinating, aside from obvious reasons like all of the urinals being used and not wanting to wait, is that they are not circumcised and have a need to do some hygenic care afterwards. There really is no excuse for urinating on the toilet seats though. Even if you're in a rush and don't have time to lift the seat, at least clean it up for the next guy. A little courtesy is appreciated by many.
I have noticed guys taking peeks and actually staring at me down there. That's why I'm go to the toilets, where the only one who can look is me!
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