Do detectives have friends?

Do you think detectives have any friends? I can't believe they do. Remember "Murder, She Wrote?" Man, if I were Jessica Fletcher's friend I'd stay the hell away from her.

I mean, you'd just get knocked off, eventually. Jessica would be going on some trip to the Caribbean, or Georgia, Japan, wherever, and sure enough, someone's gonna get stabbed, shot or suffocated. Soon enough, it'd be ol' Hansen who'd be the victim of the crime, right?

Same with all the others. I mean, they're just plain unlucky. Wherever they go, people get rubbed out.

"Tell me, Messieur, would you like travel avec moi on ze Orient Express?"

"Umm.. I'll pass Hercule."

"Matthew, Care to join me for a dinner party at a dear friend's house in Wales?"

"No thanks, Miss Marple. I'm busy this weekend."

"Eh, Mac, I'm going upstate for some fishing. You wanna join me? My wife made sandwiches."

"Naw, I just ate, Detective Columbo."

"She made tunafish on rye. You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."